Here I am, waiting for you
But I fear that my patience
is wearing thin.


The exams are over. I am damn bored at home. Typical holiday effect - you know how you always wait in flustered anticipation for the damn holidays and when they're finally here you are bored to death?
argh.
perhaps it wouldnt be so bad if i wasn't broke again :(


on a happier note, everything is well now; i can't believe what i'd been living with, for the past 10 years, it's crazy. i've got photos that are whack. and no i did not go to iran or clubbing -_-" lol. whack whack whack.

:)


sometimes my feelings scare me;
lately i've been wondering if we were better off friends.


Did I miss you while I daydreamed
Overlook your smile, dazing into the distance
Now that you’re gone I wish I’d seen
The way you lit up at my glance


mugging, hard.
in order of material to be studied-
bmmp, mbsn, pmm, imm, mmr.
i just hope i wont fail anything this semester, especially mmr.

[edit]
shuffle on windows media player suddenly played bad day by daniel powter. and i think this is the first time in goodness knows how long this song plays on my laptop. and the ironic thing is, today is the worst day of my life.

my mocha fudge spilled on the floor, got into my shoes and legs and shorts, and even onto my laptop. and i only took a sip of it.

scooptalk wasn't wholly finished. presentation was a nightmare, though feedback was that it was okay. but. urgh.

got yelled at.

lost my earphones.

while at tp, my slippers broke (again). and the shoes i borrowed from mingzhu, his friend, were fitting, a tad too fitting. though i was very grateful to have found spare shoes. :) but the 15min walk home was pure torture. =/

***

am going to the strangest place on friday night, and i am very, very terrified. i don't know what to believe anymore; because all of what i thought were real might just be.. ripped to shreds. and you'll never guess what place i'm going to. :/

[/edit]

because i know how to make you scream, boy.

[Cora]
I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

[Alex]
I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind


[Cora & Alex]
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love Oh oh oh


[Cora]
I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s gotta be something for my soul somewhere

[Alex]
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions


[Cora & Alex]
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end


[Cora]
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation


[Cora & Alex]
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end





I love this song, from top to bottom, start to end.
Music & Lyrics is a damn good movie.
Then again, it's probably just because i'm a sucker for romantic comedy flicks, where you just know that no matter what happens, the male lead and the female lead will definitely fall in love, argue and break up, but love prevails and they get back together again, with the male chasing after her on a motorcycle (ala How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) or the guy writing a song and performing it at a live concert.
Don't we all wish that somehow, it'll end up like that for us? that a guy will do something drop-dead romantic for us and sweep us off our feet and all the anger we've mustered inside will dissipate instantly.

sigh.
anyway. yeah, watch Music & Lyrics. It was sitting around in my laptop, collecting dust cos i was waiting to watch it with him. :( though i knew he doesnt like romantic flicks. doesnt that make me really silly? haha. so i gave up and watched it myself. =)

I'm also a sucker for romantic movies set in New York. Something about that setting makes it more magical. :D



Watch the stars outside my window,
In your arms I'd burst out crying,
And as you lay your head on my pillow,
All I wanted was to touch your face
And hear you say that it'd be all right
And that we'd be together all night.


♥


i fear, losing you.


♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
sometimes.. i feel martin's my guardian angel.. because.. what were the odds of us meeting man? we were complete strangers.. but yet.. we did meet and fell in love! and.. sometimes i fear that because he's such a good person, he'll be taken away from me earlier.. and im scared of that

***

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
but you know smt

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
*smth

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
cos nobody knows as in..how to react

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
im really quite scared.. cos

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
its so sudden

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
you know

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
palm reading?

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
n this type id things nobody will expect to happen

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
yes?

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
the life line is the line that curves down

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
the one nearest to your thumb there

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
and mine is quite long..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
which hand?

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
but his..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
left rite?

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
left

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
his seems to be quite short

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
and everytime i think abt it i get so scared

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
and i nkow its stupid of me to believe in it

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
mine is complicated..

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
but what if it really happens????

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
sigh

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
got so many small lines linking to the main ones..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
lene..dotn think bout such stuff

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
this is just what pple said

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
dont worry so much kie?

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
just live now

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
n be happy

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
i mean..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
if today is over,it will be over

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
no more turning back of time..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
just dont think bout this palm thingy

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
its alrite if its for fun.

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
i dunno

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
sometimes when i'm really on the verge of breaking down..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
i will just think of suicidal

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
but,i'm scared..

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
n i will miss so much things..

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
ya!

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
and

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
n i havent even seen the world yet..

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i havent done so many things..

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i havent gone travelling, i havent sat on a aeroplane for so long.. i havent gone to new york, paris..

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i havent shopped and spend 2000 dollars at ago

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
*a go

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
lol

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
ok

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i havent gone to hawaii for my honeymoon

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i havent had sex!

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i ahvent had kids!

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
lol

♥ I cried, but only because you were too beautiful, says:
i dont have a dog yet!!!

!Jewel - i love panda.x) says:
cherylene..

***

i don't know if you'll read this. but somehow, i hope you don't.. because you'll see the insecurities i have.. about me, about you, about us.. about life.
maybe you'd think i'm being overly dramatic. and maybe i am.
but i honestly think you're from heaven. you're perfect; shortcomings here and there, but otherwise, you're.. perfect. and you know how good things never last? i'm just afraid.. of losing you.. losing the best thing that ever happened to me..
you're my guardian angel, sent from up above. i honestly believe that.
and i pray to God that you'll be with me, protecting me always.. I really, sincerely do. Because.. I can't imagine life without you. and i don't want to find out what life without you would be like.
just thinking about it- my stomach has twisted into knots. sigh.
life would be meaningless.. without you.


♥

[edit]
i know i sound morbid. shut up and don't tell me im being emo/suicidal/drama.
and touch wood, i hope all this shit NEVER HAPPENS.
[/edit]