is to love and be loved.
Thursday, March 22, 2007 ( 10:08 PM )
Feel like quitting my job, seriously. No motivation to work, least not anymore.
On another note,
I wondered today if a fear of consequences is the one thing that shapes one's life.
eg.
- You fear losing my handphone if you leave it on the table.
- You fear losing money if you decide to play mahjong.
- You fear losing someone dear if you said something offensive to them.
- You fear being late if you slept a little longer.
- You fear getting pregnant if you go too far.
- You fear getting expelled if you kick the teacher's nuts.
- You fear feeling pain so you just don't love.
For some that fear is seemingly nonexistent, they play it down so much til they themselves cease to acknowledge that they are indeed fearful of something, one way or another.
But if we ceased to fear, how different would our lives and decisions be?
Reckless decision-making. Chaotic society. Baby boom.
All of us have so many fears.
But why do we even have them?
And the most basic fear, an innate fear - a fear of bu kan she xiang consequences.
I read this book once, about this girl who didn't have the fear gene, depicted to have absolutely no fear - I wonder how she felt. Not to have felt fear and all.
Ahwell.
I fear:
[x] making a mess out of my life.
[x] doing ridiculous things for a living.
[x] losing optimism.
[x] deep water.
[x] escalators, lifts.
[x] anything that has 6 legs or more.
[x] losing you.
[x] not being able to be in your embrace anymore.
[x] my loved ones dying while I'm still alive.
[x] losing the trust of my friends.
[x] becoming cold-hearted.
[x] cold places.
[x] dirt.
And I realise, I fear so many things.