the greatest thing you'll ever learn,
is to love and be loved.
is to love and be loved.
oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd
Friday, March 24, 2006 ( 12:14 PM )
i'm going for my medical later.
i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous i'm so nervous
yep. you get the idea.
jew said that for the x ray u had to go naked - *EEK* - and stand there in the blistering cold while it works its stuff. wearing nothing but yr underwear (not even yr bra) and this thin hospital robe-ish thing.
i jus hope the doc's female. and whether the doc's female, male, lesbian or gay, i'll feel so...violated, anyway, just taking my clothes off in somewhere thats not my toilet and room. EEK.
GROSS.
why do they need an x ray anyway???
as if they need a picture of my spine to see if i can operate a camera or act or write scripts. like my spine will tell you my future and my capabilities and weaknesses. yeah right.
hmmmmm.
how people read palms, some read feet, some read people's faces..maybe some people in this twisted world read spines.
...
OMGG!! i feel so violated!!
WHY???? OH WHY????
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 ( 1:09 PM )
Let's give you a link to let EVERYONE see how EEEEKKKKKKY plastic surgery can be...
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/
Eww. Repeat: Ewwwwwwwwwwww. I mean, come on. Unless you are REALLY deformed or have half your face covered in blisters caused by a bush fire, i think it's reasonable that you SHOULD JUST BE HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU ARE. Why would you want to replace own natural beauty (beauty is but abstract, anyone wants to argue with that?) with something unnatural and manmade?
Its an art. Yes, i dont disagree. But to create art on human faces; imagine what 'art' that would be without anasthesia... It would be called torture. Immense pain for the sake of a stereotyped beauty? Months of healing and numbness and isolation from the outside just because you'd want to look a certain way that people think is beautiful, when really, it's not all that great??
I'm not saying that manmade stuff isn't good or whatever...But why compromise something natural and already there..for something unnatural? You get it?
Some may argue, like the people on extreme makeover or the swan or whatever, that it boosts one's confidence level and makes people feel better about themselves.
i think its just a sorry, lazy excuse people use by resorting to plastic surgery. they arent willing to strive to find their inner beauty, and superficially think that by getting their boobs done or their noses more pointy, they become more BEAUTIFUL and confident.
Bah.
Its just all in the mind. Think you're beautiful, and you are. Even if you weigh a ton and have the face of a rat, you'll shine if you have the personality of an angel, and people who arent superficial and materialistic will love you for YOU and who you are INSIDE.
Gosh..I'm beginning to preach again. But what i've put down so far...people, think hard before you dial your surgeon's number. Because once you go under the knife, it wont just be your wallet and your weight that suddenly becomes a lot lighter and a lot more different.
YOU'll be different. And i'm not sure how that works out for each other individual, but as for me, i feel that if you change yourself too much, whether physically or emotionally or in any other sense, YOU change too much too. And when someone changes too much and goes beyond what she/he's supposed to be, well, it just isnt right.
for example, someone really meek and quiet suddenly erupts and starts screaming and pulling people's hair out for no reason. See my point. A change in the person itself..especially drastic ones...they arent natural and they just dont feel right.
think about it.
will this catch your attention?
Monday, March 13, 2006 ( 4:35 PM )
I feel like writing a song... but i think i'm a terrible lyricist so i shan't torture people so cruelly.. (is there even such a word?)
we're (me, jew, laura, carol, siok, grace) supposed to go on a reunion (well, it hasn't been 20yrs yet, but we havent seen each other for ages) outting this thurs/sat, but! rol wont go with us on thurs because she'd rather go with her maybe potential special someone on her class outing-- come on, they see each other EVERY FREAKING day... and she's telling her mom that she's going out with us, when really, she's going out with THEM.
Gawd.
honestly, you'd think that because you havent interacted with your closest friends for a while, you'd actually want to meet up with them? But noooooooo... we dont. we want to see people we see everyday, for a change.
ya, ya, so she said she'll try to make it on saturday for us, so i might be working on thurs and might not be available, but still...
and ok, so i wasn't that close to rol, but i repeat, STILL! i mean, i havent spoken to her in ages and i want to know whats going on in my friend's life! but i guess she'd rather not know about mine? *sigh*
i know, this is unlike me to blurt like this, because i usually hold my comments in. but i think its time i voiced out. and i think carol is forsaking us, esp in the whole tell mom im gg out with the gang hor issue. esp that. thats kinda sad.
and grace is another case... i mean, she doesnt want to go out with us on saturday cos she says its crowded. ok, i can understand that reason, but then, the whole not speaking to us when shes online thing and quickly leaving the conversation window whenever we add her is another thing that kinda makes me feel a whole different degree of sadness.
again, so i'm not that close to her, but i do want to catch up, u know, like know what's going on in her life, blah blah blah. but she doesnt seem to be on the same wavelength.
i dont know... i mean, i only became a part of this clique midyr last year, and sometimes i feel like a younger member of the clique who doesnt have the right to voice out, and thats why i didnt voice out much in the past. now though...
heck it la.
i shall say whatever i want, whenever i want. be brave, cautious, but brave.
FRIENDS: i say to you... in life you shall be my sunshine, and in death you will be my memories. do crap to me if you must, and i wont retaliate, but at the very least, i'll know the truth.
harsh??
i guess so.
forgive me, but i'm just trying to speak my mind.
first time in a long time...
( 3:15 PM )
Its been FOREVER SINCE I LAST WROTE!!!!
And omg, LDG's so shuai.
hahaha. what stupid shows have i been watching all my life, so much that i've been missing out on korean dramas (and the sappy romance and irony and brotherly conflict in them and how EMOTION is stirred up within you, you coldhearted beast.)
to think i had that anti-korean thing going on not too long ago when my mom began her campaign about all things korean...again it was just out of spite but omg after watching lovers in paris, (which, btw is not the best show on earth to start you into korean dramas, because it can get a little dry sometimes...) i totally digged Korean!! I'm even trying to learn Korean now, so that hopefully soon i'll actually be able to understand the shows without having to read the subtitles...
...I'm not gonna continue anymore lest i receive complaints about how much i talk about it. i can see eyes rolling liao, so ok, ok. I get it.
yes, and since my resolution this year is BE MYSELF, i shall speak as much singlish as i want and write as much singlish as i want since i dont have to take any more english papers and freak out about the results no longer! WooHoo! And since (bragbrag =P ) i've already gotten my a1 for eng and proven to myself that i'm actually of that standard,...i shall bo pian and talk crap now and forever for all i care cos i've already achieved what i wanted to achieve in 2005. Woohoo.
hahaha. working at my dad's office now, hence i cant make any *ahem* comments, but i can just say that i'm very very bored. today's done-its: finished two files of creditor lists, am slowly filing now. hope my dad can bring in more flyers for me to staple so that i can earn more dough tonight la.. but! he's sick, darn. so tonight i'll have to suan le and just watch tv when amazingly, all i want to do is WORK! I know! Everyone's probably going OHMYGAWD CHERYLENE WANTS TO ACTUALLY WORK??????!!! SUPER SKIVER???!!!!
it's because of the poly school fee la... i havent gotten my enrollment package yet (why the hell is nyp taking its own sweet time ah? to my knowledge tp and sp students have already gotten it, so why are the packages for nyp taking such an awfully long time??? taking detour ar? Eeek..) but from jewel i heard that we must fork out 300bucks for the poly school fee.
AAAHHHH!
but wait.
there's more.
and then, we must pay another 5000 bucks or something, but for this we can get a grant from the bank or something. but if we dont get the grant, we have to pay the 5000 BY MONTH END.
aaaahhhhhh!
BUT WAIT!!!
there's MORE!
and, we must go for a medical check up, goodness knows for what, and above that we still have to go take passport sized photos or something for our passes, i think, and much more other admin stuff...
imagine how much $$$ i have to fork out before the 31st of march.
oh, my aching heart...
hence, my sudden enthusiasm for work can be easily analyzed.