is to love and be loved.
Monday, February 28, 2005 ( 2:40 PM )
I'm going to get my O level express Chinese results at 2 p.m. today. I’m kinda freaked out by it, and I’m convinced that I won’t get anything beyond a B. if I’m lucky, I’ll get a B. Coz I know very well that my oral screwed me up, and since I’m competing with students from all over Singapore who have such an immaculate command of Chinese, I’m pretty screwed.
Yes, I’ve got to place my trust and faith in the Good Lord, but can I blame myself for pre-result jitters?
And I’ve got choir later… I wonder if I’ll cry when I get my results. There’s a high chance I’ll tear up. At least a 50-50 chance. I might not attend choir, even, if I don’t feel up to it. I mean, I’ve just received a portion of the prediction to whether my future will be bright or tremendously bleak here. Expect me to throw up even… This is how overrated the O Levels are.
I wonder how students in other countries react when they get their life-altering, life-prophesizing exam results. Do they have such extreme reactions as we do? Or are we just being waaaay too emotional here? Possibly. I mean, you enter a hall where O Level results are being given out, and you’ll see half the cohort dancing around, screaming their lungs out with happiness, and the other half bawling away and crying their eyes out. I think that, whether or not students actually do well for the examination, they’ll start weeping anyways. It’s a reflex action. It’s almost a tradition.
I’m not nervous now… well, not exactly, but I know that come my last lesson—emaths—I’ll probably be too distracted to pay attention.
Jiaqi and Laura aren't here today. I’ll be so… empty in English.. sniffs..
Speaking of English.. I’m hoping ms khoo picked my essay. Because I spent the entire weekend and my Sunday night toiling on it, and I slept at 3 am Sunday night, and woke up at 5 again to continue on it, and even then I couldn’t finish it. Talk about a labor of love. More emphasis on the labor, though.
So it’s kinda natural for me to want to receive some fruits in exchange for my ‘labor’.
Back to the topic of my exam result anxiety disorder. I hope I won’t get light-headed and faint in the middle of bunch of weeping/yelling schoolgirls. When I get nervous, all hell breaks loose within me. I start getting headaches, stomachaches, sweaty palms, cold fingers, dry lips..
Remember what the trainer guy from extreme makeover said… “YOU CANNOT GET EMOTIONAL WHILE ON A DIET! ALL THE HORMONES WILL BE RELEASED AND IT’S GONNA STOP YOU FROM LOSING WEIGHT!”
Therefore, I shall not get emotional.
… I’ll try. -_-